“Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.”

I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness. How do you forgive the things you will never forget? How do you forgive the things that have changed your life irrevocably?

I have no idea.

But, I know that I need to forgive. I need to dig deep — like grand canyon deep — and just let go. Let go of the fear. Let go of the pain. Let go of the insecurity and sadness.

Because the thing is…all of the events of my life have made me what I am today. I am stronger, less naïve, and more independent because of my past. I guess that is the key for me. To be grateful every day that I am blessed with people who love me despite my insecurities and issues. And that I have been given the gift to love others with their insecurities and issues.

It sounds corny…but I feel the shifts moving within me. I feel myself changing — physically, mentally, and spiritually. We had to do this exercise in yoga yesterday called candle breathing. You inhale for 3 seconds and then blow out of your mouth like your blowing out a candle for 3 seconds. After we were done, our teacher said that if it is hard for you to take in breath, you have a hard time letting love into your life and if it is harder for you to blow out the breath, you have a hard time letting go. Well, clearly, I had a harder time breathing out than breathing in. But I am working on it — between yoga, meditation, and my daily devotionals, I am working on it. And I feel the change, and it feels wonderful.

Try Something New For 30 Days

I am obsessed With Matt Cutts TEDTalk — “Try something new for 30 days“! OBSESSED. The premise is that you can do anything for 30 days. So try to do something that you have been wanting to do for a long time.

I decided to go for it in October. I had two things that I tried — avoid white sugar and track my food in myfitnesspal. The reason I chose white sugar was because of Halloween — my thought was that if I could avoid white sugar during the month where candy is everywhere, I can do it anytime. And I was right. I did it. 30 days with no sugar. And I have to say…it felt FANTASTIC. I mean really really good.

I also tracked my food for 30 days. Absolutely everything. Even the day that I ate both a bowl from Panda Express AND a sandwich from Tony Lukes for dinner because I was stressed and stuck at the Philly airport — it went into my fitnesspal. I love it. I can look back and see how I have done for the week and for the month. It has really made the difference for me.

So, I am doing it again in November. I am avoiding white flour with the same idea as Halloween. If I can avoid white flour during the Thanksgiving eating season, I can do it anytime. I also am adding at least 30 minutes of exercise every day. So let the games begin.

When I Grow Up…

September 3: When I grow up I want to be….” Feel free to answer as your 5-year-old self or as of now.

It seems fitting to do this post today. A member of my platinum circle of friends had a baby today. A little baby girl. She is absolutely precious. When a new baby is added to any family, it requires a trip down memory lane. A trip to a time when people used to actually ask you: “what do you want to be when you grow up?”

When I was 5 years old, I wanted to be Claire Huxtable. I think it must have irked my Dad a little bit that even though he was a real lawyer/commissioner and took me to court all the time, I wanted to be a lawyer because Claire Huxtable was a lawyer. In hindsight, I think it was less about her being a lawyer and more about her being a mom of 5 children that appealed to me.

Now, 28 years later, this question is actually at the forefront of my mind. What do I want to be when I grow up? I know that I love working with students. And I know that I love the law being an aspect of my career. So, I really have two choices – I can either stay in academia working with students or move to recruiting law students in a law firm. I am battling that decision right now. Hopefully, my path will become clear sometime in the near future.

About The Author

This has been a tough year. Well, this has been a tough couple of years. It seems that the minute we get over one hump, another hump is right around the corner. I have been really struggling. Struggling being in Ithaca. Struggling not being there for my mom or my dad. Struggling to figure out God’s plan for me and my family.

I need somewhere to focus my energy. So, I have been thinking about the things that I enjoy. Writing is definitely something that I enjoy. But I had let it slip because of lack of topics and feeling a little discouraged about life. So, I have decided to leave the topics to someone else. I am joining Brave Love in her Blog-tember challenge. I am a little behind, but I figured that it would not take me long to catch up.

First topic — Imagine the front sleeve of a hard cover novel. Give us your “About the Author” so we can get to know one another, and for fun tell us what your imaginary novel would be about.

About the Author


My name is Nicole. My dad calls me piptzer. My mom calls me pumpkin. My friends call me “Doz.” (Don’t ask.) I was born and raised in Pasadena, CA. I have lived on the east coast for over 10 years of my life, but I have always maintained possession of my CA driver’s license. I have many goals and dreams for my life. But, I keep myself grounded by trying to focus on my mission: To grow and foster my family and myself. To fight injustice. Strive for health and stability. Follow my passion. Faith. Hope. Love.

I have never considered writing a novel. I have two friends who are in the process of writing novels, and while I am impressed by both of them, I have never considered writing one myself. I guess if I were to write a novel, I would probably write about law school. It would take place at Cornell Law School – of course. It would be like Paper Chase meets Legally Blonde meets Fargo.

Detoxing to a New Beginning

I used to love writing my blog posts. I used to have so much fun writing about my life. But, lately, I found myself writing about things that were not my passion and therefore, it became less about me and more about outside influences. As a result, I erased a couple of blog posts I wrote in February and March. And I took a break from blogging to remember why I wrote the blog in the first place.

Though I think it was the right decision to erase the blog posts, I am making a promise to myself that I will never do that again. Once it is on the blog, it is up there. This is my blog. My life. And even if I am the only one to read it (which I probably am), I will always be authentic about what I am going through and will not hide from anything.

So, that said, it is graduation time around here. You can feel the excitement in the air. The first years are excited about the end of the toughest year of many of their lives. The second years are excited to be working at firms this summer (ahhh…the little lambs going to slaughter…just kidding.) The third years are graduation and getting ready to start the bar exam process which will make the first year seems like a walk in the park.

So I was feeling a bit blue. I was yearning for a new beginning too. So, I decided to make one for myself. I am doing it through a detox. I have picked up a few bad habits since I am came to Ithaca, and I would like to purge those from my life.

The detox will be quite simple…and is fully based on the detox from my absolute favorite nutritionist, Sonia Marie of Eat Naughty Nice.

Early Morning: Water with lemon
Breakfast: Protein Shake
Snack: 1/2 grapefruit + protein
Lunch: Quinoa Salad
Snack: Almonds/Vegetable/Hummus/Almond Butter
Dinner: Turkey and Vegetable Soup

The things I will be avoiding this week:
*red meat

I will document it here. Toast to new beginnings.